What does it mean when a doc asks if I'm sexually active?

That's a really, really good question!

To answer it, I want to stop for a second to talk about why your doctor asked you that question. Usually, for young people (especially if you've seen them before and it's the first time they've asked you that question), the doctor wants to assess what kinds of preventative care that you might need that's relevant to sexual⁠ (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) risk. That could look like:

• Testing for sexually transmitted infections⁠ (sexually transmitted infections: STIs: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.) , like gonorrhea⁠ (gonorrhea: A bacterial infection/STI which can infect the cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, urethra, mouth, throat or anus. It requires medical treatment.) , chlamydia⁠ (chlamydia: A very common bacterial infection/STI. It can infect the cervix, urethra, testicles, fallopian tubes, and/or ovaries. It can also infect the throat when acquired through oral sex. Chlamydia requires medical treatment.) , etc.
• Vaccination to prevent the most harmful strains of HPV⁠ (HPV: Human papillomavirus, a very common sexually transmitted infection with more than 40 HPV types.)
• Screening and counseling for barrier methods/ contraception⁠ (contraception: Devices, medications or behaviors used to intentionally aim to prevent pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) (if pregnancy⁠ (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) is a risk for you or your partner⁠ (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term "partner" can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. "Partner" can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) (s)
• Screenings for cancer or reproductive abnormalities
• Screening/questions about whether you feel healthy and safe in your relationship⁠ (relationship: An ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.) (s)

All of these things can vary hugely based on whether you came in with a specific concern or just for a regular checkup, your age, your anatomy⁠ (anatomy: The body, parts of the body, or physical structure of organisms like people, animals or plants.) , your medical history, et cetera. It's the type of thing that tends to be added to your chart/medical record, so that they can ensure that you're getting the care that's appropriate for your particular situation.

So if it's not entirely obvious why the doctor is asking that question, you can always ask! You always have the right to ask questions about the care you're getting. In your particular case, you haven't had any risks for STl's or pregnancy in your sexual activity, but being honest about what you have done will help your doctor get the info that they need to give you the best care and support that they can. This might sound like:

Yes, I am sexually active⁠ (sexually active: Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.) , but only manual sex⁠ (manual sex: Sometimes also called digital sex. Kinds of sex involving the hands and fingers to sexually stimulate the genitals or other parts of the body. Fingering, handjobs or "fisting" (deep manual sex) are some kinds of manual sex.) with clothes on - no intercourse⁠ (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) . Why do you ask?

When you assert yourself like that, you're ensuring that you understand how and why things are being asked of you, and you're taking charge of your own healthcare, which means you'll be better off when it comes to making decisions about sex⁠ (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) , relationships, and your body that you can feel good about.

Speaking of doctors, questions, and asserting yourself, you might also find it helpful to check out⁠ (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) our guide, Dealing With Doctors: Taking Control of Your Healthcare Destiny.