Fantasy & Desire

What a person wants and enjoys in media -- including pornography -- may or may not have any relationship to what they want and enjoy in real life. That's often particularly the case with fantasy media, which pornography usually very much is. A big part of viewing, reading, or otherwise engaging in...

Before I say anything else, I'm going to say what I often do to people about threesomes (or moresomes), particularly threesomes-in-the-abstract or other kinds of sexual scenarios with an established couple and one or more other partners who they don't know yet or haven't even considered. Especially...

Our sexual development is a lifelong process, one we actually start before we're even born. Our sexuality and sexual development isn't the same at every stage, mind: infant or early childhood sexuality is a very different thing than adult sexuality. But it's still almost always present in some...

Libido -- the desire for sex of any given kind -- is a very complex thing, much like sex and sexuality are complex. It's emotional, it's intellectual, it's chemical and physiological, it's both personal and interpersonal, it's spiritual, it's metaphysical, it's historical, it's aspirational. Our...

(Anonymous' question continued) I feel like there is something so strange about a person like me who is so reserved- celibate of all sexual activity, and yet, I don't really have erotic dreams, and it doesn't SEEM like I'm repressing anything. I will say that I am EXTREMELY creative and passionate...

Thanks for writing. I am sorry that your heart is hurting and I hope that I can shed some light onto your situation. Before I do so I just want to let you know that I’ll be using the term trans women rather than “she-male.” The term “she-male” is a slang term used to describe people assigned male at...

The term "prude" is such a heavily loaded, judgmental term that I'd really encourage you not to apply it to yourself or anybody else. The implications that come along with that are just not very helpful, so I'd suggest removing that from the way you're thinking about your situation. There are lots...

It seems to me that we have four likely possibilities here when it comes to the pro-domme websites. 1) Your boyfriend is simply curious about and/or turned on by BDSM. Pro-domme sites are often free, and tend to have photos as well as information about BDSM. Some even have some bonafide, all-out...

It's important to understand that rape is only sex for the person doing the raping. And really, it's not even that, since partnered sex is something we do WITH someone, not TO someone, or have done TO us. A person being raped does not have control over the situation, isn't consenting and IS...

You know, when we're just plain horny -- rather than interested in really sharing sex, emotionally and physically, with another person -- the best choice to make is to masturbate. That's not just best for us, it's also better for any potential partners: if often isn't so great to be someone's...