reciprocity

Well, I'll bet you're annoyed! But it's not just a guy thing. Often after anyone -- male, female or otherwise -- reaches orgasm, they'll be a little spaced out for a bit, and might need a breather sometimes. Sometimes, even with our bit of dizzy-spacey-blissed-out, we'll still be up to continuing...

Your boyfriend seems to be dismissing the fact that for the majority of women, intercourse all by itself, no matter how long or short it lasts, is not very satisfying, especially physically. But even if it were, and even if a majority of women wanted intercourse to last a long time, that wouldn't be...

You know, I always feel for heterosexual or bisexual folks when they clearly have paid attention to this stuff, done the reading or just talked to women, put it all together and have that "Whoah!" moment about this issue. With so many people reared to think that male-female vaginal intercourse is...

In this post, all I've heard about is what your boyfriend likes and wants. You haven't said a thing about what YOU like and YOU want, and that concerns me. So, I really hope that any sex you're having is just as much about what you want, what you need, and what you enjoy. To have a healthy sexual...

It sure is. If it hasn't happened to you yet, yourself -- with your boyfriend or when you masturbate alone -- it probably will at some point. Orgasm is a full body event that gets our circulation pumping and our nervous system all fired up. After orgasm, in the resolution phase of the sexual...

Partnered sex doesn't have to be quid pro quo. In other words, there's no need for there to somehow be some perfectly identical exchange of activities, and with opposite-sex partners, that's not really even all that possible, since you've got different parts! What's important is that things are...

Sounds like you're in a difficult spot, but it also sounds like you're in a really good headspace to work it out, so let's see what we can do. Some of why your partner is okay with intercourse may indeed be because it's enjoyable for her, though it sounds like so far it hasn't been very enjoyable...

I’m going to suggest you look at reciprocity in sex -- the idea that one person gives something, so the other should get something of equal value back -- in a different way than you might be used to. (Excerpted and adapted from S.E.X., the Scarleteen book.)

Having sex with someone else is really intimate, and we're all vulnerable in that space, and double for both when we have strong feelings for the person we're with. So, in order to make our own best choices -- including in terms of our emotional safety -- we need to understand that. Does this person...