motherhood

"Do you have any children…?" It’s such a typical question to ask someone, and for many it’s an easy yes or no answer. For me though, I consistently find myself hesitating to respond. Generally when speaking to strangers, casual acquaintances, and even new friends, I opt to answer “no.” On occasion, I brave the consequences and answer the truth: “Yes, I’m a birthmother.”

When I gave birth, options were discussed with me regarding what to do about the baby. For me, there seemed no choice but adoption. I was now 17. The thought of raising a child was an impossibility. I wanted to finish high school. I wanted to go to college. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to hang out with my friends. I just wanted to continue to be a teenager.

A baby isn't a bargaining chip. A baby is a very small, but very whole, person. Just like me, just like you. And a child deserves to be considered as a whole, actual person, not as an object to possibly get you what you want for yourself. What I hear you saying is that you are now feeling a very...

It doesn't make any sense to presume infertility until you have had fertility tests done. At least once a week or two, I sit in the clinic I also work at counseling someone for an abortion procedure who was told or had the idea that they were infertile, and who didn't get tested to make sure that...

(Emily's question continued) Anyway, I keep thinking about being pregnant, wanting a baby and hoping and hoping I get pregnant. I hate thinking this way, because we aren't really ready for that yet, but I can't stop. Is there really any reason I would have this motherly urge? We always have...

I painted a picture of pure, perfect mommyhood to anyone who would (or had to) listen. He rides in the sling all day! I never get tired, I'm too happy! I grow all of his food in my backyard and I have a nice, hot dinner on the table for my partner when he gets home from his hard day at work! And we never, ever fight. I was born for this job! Yeah, right.