healing

frenchiemathwhiz's question continued: I was standing by him because I've freaked out about stuff before, and I thought he was there for me. But apparently not. Anyway, we were each other's first sexual partners—vaginal, oral, etc. I'm moving to a new city and a new job in a few weeks (something I...

This question comes up for a lot of people. In the past couple of weeks, I think I've talked to three or four different people about this issue, so I'm really glad you've asked this here, as it's clearly important to you and to many others. It sounds like the journey you've taken to the point of...

The big emotion that comes through what you've written here isn't love or loyalty. It's anger. Big, big anger, in giant waves, in what you're saying and in how you've said it. There is so much here -- far more, I think, than your boyfriend using porn, or what's in the porn he's looking at -- that a...

antogone68's question continued: I think this was probably for a number of reasons: being busy at university and perhaps having a naturally low sex drive after the honeymoon period of a relationship. However, I also think my sexual assault had something to do with it. I still find physical intimacy...

I think you just said two things you could tell him right there. "I am very uneasy about this," or "I am very uneasy about this because I have been sexually abused." Whichever you feel most comfortable with, both of those things are fine things to say, things I think we should be able to say with...

I want to first tell you a few things you should know are true. Whatever it turns out your sexuality and relationships are like, whatever it turns out you want from them, they're about much, much more than your abuse. Because we've been abused doesn't mean either or both of those things will be all...

I would not, and cannot, give you advice on how to feel differently than you do, or on how to hide your feelings. Instead, I would only -- and could only, in good conscience -- advise you NOT continue to be intimate with this person again and ideally not to stay in a relationship with this person at...

I'm so glad you were able to ask about this and break your silence. I know how scary it can be to do that. It's a very big deal to take that step and I hope you give yourself a lot of credit for taking it. I certainly do. What you have described is beyond sexual harassment: it's sexual assault. And...

I'm so sorry you had to experience a rape. But I'm glad you survived it and very glad you feel able to ask for help and support. The vagina can't really be "broken." A person with a vagina can sustain injuries to their genitals -- via rape, consensual sex, intentional genital mutilation, childbirth...

When we have any kind of trauma, we don't tend to heal by blocking it out. Of course, we generally cannot simply "block out" memories by sheer force of will in the first place. But it's certainly common to wish we could. By all means, you had extremely poor care at the hospital -- I hate even...