assault

Young people don’t arrive at their conclusions about appropriate romantic behavior in a vacuum; they’re influenced by a myriad of messages, including input from the adults in their lives. Sometimes that input includes ideas that end up exacerbating issues around rejection and dating. One of the ways we can work towards a world in which acts like this no longer happen, a world in which people, and women in particular, aren’t afraid their “no” will make them a target of violence, is to make a concerted effort to help the young people in our lives learn to deal with rejection in healthy ways. With that in mind, we’ve put together recommendations to assist adults in doing exactly that.

What would it take to end sexual violence? We ponder that question today, while thinking about the wise words of disability/sexual violence advocate Mia Mingus, whose interview discusses the #metoo movement and how intersectionality and transformative justice comprise the basis of her activism (and why yours should too!).

This question comes up for a lot of people. In the past couple of weeks, I think I've talked to three or four different people about this issue, so I'm really glad you've asked this here, as it's clearly important to you and to many others. It sounds like the journey you've taken to the point of...

When we have any kind of trauma, we don't tend to heal by blocking it out. Of course, we generally cannot simply "block out" memories by sheer force of will in the first place. But it's certainly common to wish we could. By all means, you had extremely poor care at the hospital -- I hate even...

I think it might help if you made some adjustments to the way you think about intercourse and sex as a whole. You use the word penetration, and talk about what you're doing as stabbing or a kind of invasion. I also hear you saying that sex is something you are doing to your partner or on your...

It was my personal mission to break the silence, not just for myself but for others who were not yet ready to speak. I wanted to share my story with whoever was willing to listen in hopes of making a difference in someone’s life. Look out world; I am on a mission to end sexual violence!

It sounds like you're not confused at all to me: in fact, I hear you being really clear. You know he wants one thing, and you want something else. You know you don't want to do something he wants to do. In short, you know that the two of you want different things and that as it stands, there's no...

Well, I feel you shouldn't fake it in the FIRST place, and would say it's time to stop faking NOW. I know: it can be really hard sometimes to tell a partner we care a lot about that we're dissatisfied, because we don't want to hurt their feelings. But faking pleasure or orgasm is one of the best...

If you have NOT gladly and freely consented to and participated in sexual activity -- if you have not in some way said a big yes and wanted to keep saying a big yes -- and someone else had sex with you anyway, that is rape. No matter what ANYONE tells you, it is not your fault. There certainly is fault, but it lies with the rapist, not the victim.