Birth Control Bingo: For a Person With a Penis, Not a Uterus

Part of Scarleteen's Birth Control Bingo. Need to go back a question?

On the previous page, you said that you cannot yourself become pregnant, but could potentially co-create a pregnancy⁠ (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) and you and/or your partner⁠ (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term "partner" can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. "Partner" can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) do NOT want to do so right now. You want to find the best method for you understanding that even the most effective methods of contraception⁠ (contraception: Devices, medications or behaviors used to intentionally aim to prevent pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) used properly may still leave a partner at some small risk of pregnancy and you can deal with those possible risks.

While there are currently a few methods of birth control⁠ (birth control: Any number of methods people use to intentionally prevent unwanted pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) for people with penises in the experimental and developmental phases, at this time, you just do not have many options when it comes to birth control that are entirely up to you.

Your current choices are:

• to abstain from any sexual⁠ (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) activities which pose pregnancy risks, or abstain from all partnered sex⁠ (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) with people who can become pregnant
• condoms
• withdrawal
• to have a vasectomy⁠ (vasectomy: Surgical blocking of the vasa deferentia (each vas deferens) for permanent birth control.) , and/or
• to cooperate with your partner in whatever method or methods they are using.

I know that it can seem pretty unbalanced that folks with penises have so few options in birth control they themselves can use.

At the same time, most companies which create and market birth control methods are run by cisgender⁠ (cisgender: Describes people who have a gender identity which is traditionally thought to “match” their assigned sex. For instance, someone who was assigned male at birth who identifies as a man. Often used in relation to transgender.) men. Men, the group of people most often with a penis⁠ (penis: One of the two external reproductive organs of people often assigned male at birth.) , have not, as a group, been particularly cooperative with supporting and pushing for development of new methods. Plus, they are most typically a group of people who cannot themselves become pregnant. This means that they are not impacted with the same depth and sense of urgency by a pregnancy as people who can, themselves, become pregnant. That alone is a big part of why most of the focus for methods of birth control has been on methods for people who can, themselves, become pregnant.

Vasectomy -- sterilization -- is technically an option, but because it is costly and considered permanent because it is iffy to reverse, it's not often advised for younger people. Even for those who do strongly feel they do not ever want to reproduce, most doctors will not perform a vasectomy for a very young person.

So, if you're someone under 30 who wants to be sexually active⁠ (sexually active: Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.) and also try to prevent a pregnancy yourself, you're left with withdrawal⁠ (withdrawal: A method of birth control which involves the person with the penis "pulling out" of a vagina well before ejaculation and ejaculating away from a partner's genitals.) , condoms or with choosing only to engage in sexual activities which don't pose a risk of pregnancy (or none), and either of those latter two options are very effective.

You also absolutely have the right to only choose to be sexual with partners who are also using a method of birth control on their own, if you don't feel comfortable using withdrawal or condoms alone. Just like someone who could become pregnant gets to only choose partners who are willing to use a method of birth control themselves, or like anyone gets to only choose partners who will participate in safer sex⁠ (safer sex: Practices which aim to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as use of latex/nonlatex barriers, regular testing for infections and limiting the number of sexual partners.) , the same goes here. If a partner or potential partner does not want to use the methods that make you comfortable and okay about engaging in sex that can create a pregnancy, that is their right, however it is also your right to nix sex for that reason.

If you'd like some information on ways to completely prevent pregnancy, or want to have an idea about what activities won't pose pregnancy risks, click here.

If you and your partner do want to engage in vaginal and/or anal intercourse⁠ (anal intercourse: When a penis is inserted into and held by the anus while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation.) , you do have condoms. Not just withdrawal, which can be difficult to use properly, or vasectomy, which can be permanent and hard for a young person to access.

Condoms are cheap, easy to find, easy to use, and while they do require a quick pause in the middle of the action, and do slightly reduce sensation, when you look at the effects of most methods of birth control, they are actually a method with some of the fewest side effects of any other method. They also allow you to share responsibility for reducing the risk of STIs and to protect yourself from those, as well.

If you'd like some basic information on condoms, instructions for using them, and some tips for making them feel best and finding the right condoms for you, click here.

Suffice it to say, I'd encourage you to cooperate with a partner in the use (or expense) of their method no matter what. That can include everything from helping your partner foot the bill (contraception can be expensive), to aiding them in insertion of some methods (even just by being sure to give them time to insert them properly) to just being aware of what side effects they might be dealing with when it comes to their method so that you can be understanding and sensitive when their method results in things like decreased sexual desire⁠ (desire: A feeling of wanting something. In the context of sex or sexuality, desire can be a feeling of a physical and psychological want for any kind of sex or way of being sexual.) or vaginal lubrication, mood changes, tender breasts, weight gain or vaginal spotting. Your cooperation can often make not only a positive difference in your sex life and your relationship⁠ (relationship: An ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.) , but with some methods, can assure they're most effective.

If you want to know more about a method your partner is using, and how you can help use it properly and be supportive with use, you can find out⁠ (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) all about it by clicking that method below: 

• Cervical Barriers (Diaphragms and Cervical Caps)
• Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill)
• Condoms
• the Contraceptive Implant(Implanon)
• the Contraceptive Patch
• Depo-Provera (The Shot)
• Emergency Contraception ( Plan B⁠ (Plan B: A brand of emergency contraception pill.) or the Morning-After-Pill)
• Fertility Awareness ( FAM⁠ (FAM: Keeping records of periods, body temperature and cervical mucus to try and predict fertility.) )
• Intrauterine Devices ( IUD⁠ (IUD: Intra-uterine device. A long-term birth control method inserted into the uterus by a healthcare provider. Also called an IUS (Intrauterine system) or IUC (Intrauterine contraceptive).) , IUC or IUS)
• Progesterone-Only Oral Contraceptives (Minipills)
• Spermicides
• the Sponge
• the Vaginal Ring (Nuvaring)

Don't forget: Statistically, sexually active young adults⁠ (adults: People whose age in years exceeds the legal age of majority, people considered to be adults by law, or people who a culture or individual considers to have reached an adult stage of life.) are as, if not more, likely to acquire a sexually transmitted infection⁠ (infection: When harmful microbes, or germs, or harmful levels of microbes/germs, enter the body and multiply, causing illness. The common cold, flu viruses, sexually transmitted infections, chickenpox, impetigo, rabies and diphtheria are some kinds of infections.) ( STI⁠ (STI: Sexually transmitted infections: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.) ) as you are to become pregnant. Although 15-24-year-olds represent only one-quarter of the sexually active population, they account for nearly half of all new STIs each year, and of the 18.9 million new cases of STIs each year, 9.1 million (48%) occur among 15-24-year-olds (AGI). Often people have some funny ideas about who is most likely to get an STI, but the fact of the matter is that younger people -- of any sexual orientation⁠ (sexual orientation: A term -- like homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, queer, straight, lesbian, gay, asexual -- used to describe a person's usual or current pattern of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attraction to other people as it relates to or is about gender.) , any economic class, any kind of relationship -- have been the highest risk group for some time now.

Condoms are the only method of birth control which also provide protection against STIs. It's pretty typical for younger people to ditch condoms if they have another method of birth control, so just remember that STIs are still a risk if you're using another method. You can read all about safer sex here -- Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To -- but the rule of thumb most medical experts and prevention organizations suggest, which we also encourage at Scarleteen is six months of safer sex, six months of sexual monogamy, and then TWO full STI screenings for each partner -- once at the start of that six months, once at the end -- before ditching latex barriers.