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Tired of Teasing

Anonymousssdude asks:

Hello there, i am 18 years old and my girlfriend is 16. She has been with around 17 other guys, given one blowjob and handjobs etc. but when it comes to me, she does not seem to care about what I want. I please her from fingering her, go down on her and we have sex as well. But when it comes to handjobs she does not seem to be willing to work in order to plessure me. The only thing she does is touch me down there in order to tease me which she finds funny but i hate it. What can i do to tell her in a nice way that i really would like her to do SOMETHING instead of just pissing me off? BTW we have been dating for around one and a half month and im getting sooo tired of it already. It would be okay if it was her first time, but thinking about the fact that she has done this to other guys makes me sick and tired of this relationship. It might be worth mentioning that this is the first real relationship of her's. Hope you can help me :/ have a good one

How can I protect my partner from HPV?

Lucilabolof asks:

I'm a 15-y/o girl who has recently fell in love with a 15-y/o girl that I met in December.
We've made it clear that we have romantic and sexual interests about each other, even though we think it's still too soon.
She knows that I've been sexually active with multiple partners for a couple years, and she's very enthusiastic about experiencing new feelings and desires (I'm the first female she's ever been interested in.)
We both agree that we're OK at the moment, but... I have HPV. She doesn't know because we haven't even had that much physical contact yet and we both agree that we want to wait for a while. I don't want her to be scared about it if we sometime decide we're going to have sex.
I have found no actual studies about how common is lesbian HPV transmission, so there is no way for me to talk her about the possibilities of getting the STI.
And even if there were reliable charts and stuff about this, I want her to be the safest she can be with me. Like, 100% safe of whatever could happen to her. I'm THAT in love.
I know and use the most common methods of safe lesbian sex, like using different condoms for toys, using gloves for intercourse, and female condoms for oral sex. But, STILL...
She's very excited about this whole I'm-gonna-lose-my-virginity-with-you thing, and I don't want to dissappoint her. There is no way to make sure that, if we scissor, she won't get infected. And she has told me that she'd like to scissor.
I mean, if she agreed to have sex with me even with the STI, I wouldn't want to. 'Cause I really want to take care of her. I'd feel extremely guilty if she got ill because of me. I'd like to protect her from all bad things even though that's impossible.
(I know I'm very cheesy and protective, she's OK with it too.)
What should I do? To have sex, or not to have sex?

Why doesn't my girlfriend enjoy sex?

tazzy asks:

Hi, me and my girlfriend are dating for almost 2 years now, we met when she was 19 and I was 21, we love each other and our relationship is going great, with only one exception - sex. We had our first sex few weeks after we have met and the problem was that she didn't feel almost anything during it, and we are dealing with this problem since then. We both had some sexual experiences before and she claims that she has never had experience like this, only that she hasn't reached orgasm every time but at least felt pleasure during it. So it looks that the problem is in me, but I don't know where. I don't think that my penis is so small (I've had around 20 sexual partners before her and never noticed such problem) plus when i finger her with just one finger, she likes it. It is similar when I touch her clit, she is able to reach orgasm very quickly this way, but when I touch it during sex, she says that it's a very little bit better but still nothing special and when I try to touch it after we try to have sex she doesn't feel anything at all. Long story short, she only liked having sex with me twice and only for a short time, so it is clear that we are very desperate about it but still cannot find solution. I have tried to google this many times and have never found a similar problem.

I Hate my Body, What Should I Do?

soclara asks:

I'm in a long-distance relationship with a guy I met on a dating site, and I am having a very difficult time with showing him my body in a way that is real as opposed to posed/cropped/filtered in a way that makes me look better. To give some background, exactly a year ago I developed disordered eating, then "graduated" to binging/purging. I've always been fat, since I was little, and I think that is part of the reason I look the way I do now. I've always hated my body for obvious reasons, but I never really did anything about it until last year, and in fact the disordered eating developed from me deciding to lose weight the healthy way until I discovered that fewer calories = more weight loss. I lost this weight with literally zero exercise and for some reason I can't get myself to do it.

So therein lies my issue.

Sixteen and Struggling

Badgyalania asks:

Hi I'm 16 years old and I'm a lesbian. I've been in a relationship with a female for a year and 4 months now, but it's hasn't been all happy and what not. We've had a lot of down falls mainly on her. She's lied to me about soooo much and has cheated on me more than 4 times I'm not sure the exact amount but its definitely more than 4. Our relationship isn't just a relationship we are best friends and it's really hard for us to walk away from eachother. So everytime I find something I give her another chance and she always says she's going to stop and fights for me to stay with her. I dont know what To do anymore I'm in love with her but it's not the same anymore everything we've gone through has changed our relationship and how we view eachother. So now I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay and see if it gets fixed or just give up and leave my best friend and first love. She also took my virginity by the way. She always try's to control me and I do the same but the difference is I listen and she doesn't she just lies and lies. I'm so stuck and I'm becoming depressed and she isn't being any help she think I need to just move on from what she did and continue the relationship but I don't think it's that simple. There's so much more but I'm gonna leave it at that.

How can I break up without hurting my boyfriend's feelings and ending our friendship?

hermitsunited asks:

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We were good friends before we started dating. He's one of my closest friends, but I no longer feel attracted to him and don't think we should date anymore. I don't think he feels the same way - I think he really likes me a lot and I feel really bad about ending our relationship even though I think it's the right thing to do since I don't feel the same way about it him anymore. He's the first person I've ever dated and I'm nervous about breaking up with him. Do you have any advice for how to break up with someone as compassionately as possible and preserve the friendship?

Are relationships really as complicated as people make them out to be?

Clueless2 asks:

I am LONELY. I just want a nice/easy relationship. I feel like all my friends that have dated someone slowly drifted away from my friend group. I don't want to leave my friends. They also talk about how much time/effort they put into relationships. I just want someone to go get ice cream with. Are relationships really as terrible and complicated as everyone makes them out to be? Sometimes I think I'd rather be forever alone than put that much effort into something.

Should I Practice My Kissing on My Friend?

glovelove00 asks:

Ok so I'm 15 and I've still never been kissed. Yes, yes I know this website is mostly focused on sex but I don't have anyone else to talk about this with. I have had opportunities but I have just never really been head over heels for the guys I could have kissed. Am I being too picky? There is this guy who is my friend who has told me that he loved me. I love him too but as a friend, not romantically and he knows this because we've talked about it. I'm afraid that in the future if I did find the perfect guy that I did want to kiss, I would do it all wrong and ruin the moment completely. Could I kiss my friend as a test run without ruining things? I love him enough not to want to play with his feelings but I have still always wondered.

I Think He Might Be Using Me. What Should I Do?

Janedavid124 asks:

Hey I am 18 years old, I have been in a relationship with this guy. We've only met once or twice,and we never kissed, we talk to each other regularly on texts and on video call. On video call we masturbate by taking each others names, we give each other pleasure but now I have realized that he doesn't like talking to me. Whenever I text him he always says to send him private pictures and whenever I refuse to masturbate for him or send him pictures he says he want breakup and then he starts fighting he argues and says he will find someone else. I like talking to him and i want him to tell me everything going around his life but he never tells me I don't know what to do. Does he love me or my body? Shall I breakup with him before its too late because I think he is just playing with my feelings. Please help me to make my decisions as I am really confused right now..

Toy Queries

Tokenqueen asks:

If I get an IUD can I use a vibrator?

You Don't Need Your Moms' Permission to Have Sex.

Juliaaa8 asks:

I'm 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 years. We're best friends and were so in love. The first time we had sex I was 16 and my mom found out and I was grounded and unable to see him for about a month and a half. We're both in college now and still together and he's coming down soon to visit me! We haven't had sex since that one time and since then my mom has made me ask her if I feel like I'm ready but every time I seem to ask her she shuts it down and makes me feel bad for wanting it. I really want to have sex with him when he comes down to see me and I'm scared to ask my mom. But I really want to explore my sexuality more and figure myself out more with him. How should I deal with this?

My Boyfriend is Trans, but not out yet. How do I support him?

yoyoma asks:

I recently became comfortable with my sexuality. Attracted to girls and boys. As a girl I always thought that I was just comfortable around girls, but I realized I liked them when I developed a crush on my friend, L. I started flirting with L and soon it came to light that we both like each other. That same day L told me she is a he. A transgender boy born a girl. I was okay with that, I didn't like L because of his gender I like him because he is a good person. Is it bad that because I have to call him a girl at school (he's not out yet) and refer to him as his birth name at school that I sometimes see him as my girlfriend? I'm trying to be open minded and I think I love him. Every time I think of him as a girl I snap out of it, but sometimes I feel guilty. Am I a bad girlfriend?

I'm a Gay Guy, but There's This Girl....

jayman858 asks:

I've considered it for long hours, and decided that I was gay. This was when I was about 11. I still fought with it for a while, but just recently I finally talked to myself and decided not to fight it anymore. Finally, when I get the mindset and confidence to say I'm fully gay, I meet this beautiful, sweet, hilarious, and honestly perfect girl who I connect with wicked well. I asked her out recently and she basically said not yet. I didn't go out and search thinking, "I want to be straight now please!" this girl just popped up out of nowhere last year. We've been friends for about a year now, and she recently moved onto campus. We've hung out non-stop, and she isn't even weirded out that I asked her out, she even said she'd thought about it, as in she thought about dating me. I'm just not sure if I should go for it or not. She did say not yet, in more words, but should I really try to become straight again? She really is the perfect girl, and I really want to, but will the fact that I'm with a girl cause any psychological stuff, like depression or like anything bad? I'd really like to just go date her, but a little voice in my head always whispers, "You're gay. You like men. You watch gay pR0n. You won't make her happy. Etc." I am completely lost and need some form of guidance moving forward.

Period Woes: A Play in Two Acts

Bella11 asks:

Hello,
I'm 14, and I'm always scared of having my period unprepared, so I always wear a pad when I go out. How can I get over my fear of getting my clothes dirty ? Thank you.

I'm a Girl, does that Mean I can't Make the First Move?

tay.s asks:

I'm an 18 year old girl and have dated plenty of people. But my family has always been the type that believes guys should pretty much do the pursuing. My mom always says, if a guy wants a girl, he will make it known and he will try to make it happen. If he doesn't, he's not the right guy for you. Because of this, I've always let the guys come to me. My problem is that sometimes I'm interested in a guy and I feel he's interested in me, but it's not always the best situation to engage in a conversation like that. Like today, I was at an event geared towards kids. I was with my son but my mom tagged along. There was a guy running a booth and I was interested and he was definitely flirting but it just wasn't good for a full out conversation. Every time we passed him, he said something to me, even engaged my son and made him laugh, but he never took it a step further and I was convinced he wasn't as interested as I thought and ended up leaving with just a "have a good one". Sometimes I wish I could slip my number or ask him out or something but I never do because of my upbringing. Consequently, I end up thinking about it the rest of the day and often come to the conclusion that he must not have been interested in me like I thought and it kind of bums me out. I'm just not sure what to do about it? Should I stick to the family philosophy or maybe step out my comfort zone and go for it a couple times? Is there any way to feel a little more confident or know a little more clearly whether or not he's really interested?

Help! My Friend is Dating a Creepy Dude.

themathgirl asks:

There’s a guy I see frequently (We're in a small major together in school, we live in the same dorm) who has sexually harassed a number of girls in my group of friends. And now recently one of my friends told me that he raped her a year ago(the statute of limitations has passed.)
I don't trust him. Most of my friends and I do what we can to avoid him. However, my roommate/close friend started dating him four months ago. She knows about his bad behavior towards her friends. She knew about it when she started dating him. Maybe she doesn't believe it. Maybe she doesn't care. She refuses to listen to their claims that she's dating an asshole.
Knowing about this guy's general creepiness and having seen this friend disappear almost completely from our social circle to spend all her free time alone with him makes me worry he is abusing/manipulating/being an asshole to her. I've been told that often people put up with abusive relationships because they feel they have no social support outside the abuser. So the very last thing we, her friends, should do is let her disappear. In case she is being emotionally manipulated/abused/whatever, I want to show her that she has a network of friends other than him who care about her and support her. She won't spend time with friends without him though, and none of us (especially not the people he has harassed and abused) want to be around him. What do you recommend I do?

Hours of Intercourse? Nope. (And also: Ow.)

kayla17 asks:

Me and my boyfriend are both 17. Today we started sex but it only lasts 3 minutes. How can we make it last 1 or 2 hours?

On submission and speaking up

BrooklynnL asks:

I am a trained Submissive. I have only ever been in relationships with Dominants who know exactly how to be sexually/emotionally involved with a Sub. I am extremely into bondage/spanking/biting/ect., and the Doms that I have been involved with know exactly how to effectively provide that for me in a sexual relationship. I don't think I can even HAVE an orgasm without the aforementioned activities.
But recently I met this AMAZING guy that I have totally fallen for. He is perfect in every way and is just a total dream. He is pretty dominant, but I know he isn't a dom. We have been dating for almost 4 months now, and I haven't told him about my sexual past. We have been having sex but it isn't at all satisfying to me. I've been faking all of my orgasms, and have been putting up with the "Vanilla" sex since we've started dating. I'm afraid to tell him about my sexual preferences. I'm scared that hell think its disgusting or weird and run away. Or even worse, he'll stay but not be able to provide the things I need in a sexual relationship which will completely ruin our entire relationship all together. How do I effectively communicate to him my sexual needs and tell him that I've been hiding this from him? It's really hard for me to even think about doing that because as a Submissive I have always been with Dominants who always know exactly what I want and provide for my needs. Help!

The Problem Is Not Your Performance, It's Your Boyfriend

Meme28 asks:

My boyfriend REALLY wants to have sex with me. We're both 17. I don't want to because I'm afraid to be naked around him. I have given him oral sex. But he hasn't done anything but kiss me. Though, last night he caught me in the shower and asked if he could come in and I reluctantly agreed. We had sex, but after he told me that because I was a virgin I failed my first time. He also told me that my breasts are to small and my performance was terrible. He later told me he was sorry, and we had sex again. But he told me after that time I was horrible overall. I don't know if I'm that bad. I'm really nervous when he touches my breasts or vagina. Could this be affecting my performance? Any answers would help.

He Flirts and I Feel Bad, but I Don't Want it to be Over

Lorelli123 asks:

So I'm 14 and me and my bf have gone through loads. We were best friends for three years and have been together for one and a half years. He struggles with bullying at school, so to impress this guy he got pics of two girls on Snapchat. This crushed me because he sent stuff to her like "your tits are perfect" and stuff like that. I found this out four months ago and put him through a lot, then finally forgave him a couple months ago. I know he loves me and I don't want to hear stuff like I should leave him or anything it just upsets me so please don't. It's great and were so in love but it's hard to forget sometimes and it does cause some arguments. I need help on getting over it, and keeping the relationship strong at school with the constant bullying about us and I want to keep my friends at the same time. If you can tell me how to not be bothered with him flirting because he flirts naturally and has friends that are girls more. (We do sexual things but not proper sex, which made me feel self conscious when he got those pictures and that feeling has faded but still effects me).

You Can't Test for Virginity

Tammyluvgurl asks:

Hello I'm 13 and don't plan on having sex but my mother says that when I'm 16-18 she is going to get me checked to see if I'm still a virgin because I'm religious and we believe in no sex till marriage. Even though I don't plan on having sex, does masturbation affect the test the doctors going to take? And how do they take this test? Because I don't want to masturbate and find out the doctor says I'm not a virgin. Is there even a way for the doctors to test it (because my mom could be bluffing)?

P.S. me and my moms relationship is good so she would trust me if I told her I didn't have sex plus if I did she would be understanding.

My Friends Think It's Gross When I Talk About Sex

Freckle Face asks:

I"m 17 and I need some advice about my friends. We've known each other for years, one since toddler hood and the other two since middle school. They all talk about losing their virginity (or just having sex in general) all the time. When we go to college next year, when her boyfriend comes home for the summer, and on and on. However, whenever I say anything regarding something like that, they act like it's the grossest thing they've ever heard. It's like I don't get to have sexual thoughts like other people. All my other friends are perfectly fine with me commenting on those kinds of things, but my "best" friends aren't. Is that normal or do they not want me to talk about that for some reason?

Getting Married When We (May) Want Different Things from Sex

greentea23 asks:

I am 23 and I am getting married this fall. I have never had sex before because I have been waiting for marriage. My fiance is not a virgin. We have different views on the purpose of sex. His goals are intimacy and pleasure. I have a lifelong history of feeling guilty about any kind of physical pleasure and therefore trying to avoid it altogether. I really do not care whether I ever have an orgasm. I actually do not know what I think the point of sex is. How can we start a sexual relationship when our goals for sex are so different?

Love, Anxiety, and Fear

Izzybelle asks:

I want to find out if I'm alone. I know I'm not, but I feel that I need proof that shows I'm not the only one dealing with this. I have anxiety, OCD, and phobias, and I'm also very emotionally sensitive. That doesn't sound like much, but it actually is a big deal. I am terrified of romantic relationships. Before I knew I had this fear, I went to the movies with a guy and he wanted to hold my hand. I'm not capable of saying no, so I said yes. When I got home, I started to spasm and shake. I didn't know why but I know now that it was because I am scared of anything romantic. I also am really sensitive when it comes to friendships. I am the kind of person that thinks my friend doesn't like me anymore if they haven't texted me in a month or even a week (my friend lives halfway across the country). I always assume that my friend(s) don't/doesn't care about me and I realized that I need constant physical reminders that they do, such as a text or a phone call.

My Boyfriend Doesn't Enjoy Oral/Manual Sex, and I Feel Bad About It

MojMycha asks:

My boyfriend doesn't enjoy receiving oral or hand jobs, and it makes me feel inadequate, what can I do?

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