Robin Mandell

I'm sorry to hear that sex has been a disappointment. Let's see if I can help shed some light on this for you. A partner cannot be a mind-reader. No one can, but being someone's sexual partner doesn't magically imbue them with that skill. There's just no way your boyfriend can know what you've been...

You did nothing wrong. The idea someone "asks for" something they don't want, something that they experience as a violation, is a trope that I wish would go the way of the dodo bird. Understand, I'm not upset with you for saying that; I'm upset with the culture that sends messages that make you...

Ten years ago, I knew about using lube, about making first-time intercourse comfortable, and about pregnancy prevention options, but it seems I didn’t know much about sexually transmitted infections. My partner at the time — I’m still with him — offered to get tested for STIs before our first meeting in person. I turned him down. I think I must have decided that he didn't have an STI. Someone told me once that I was more powerful than electricity. If that is true, which I highly doubt it is, I must be truly powerful indeed, to conduct blood and urine analyses over the phone or Internet, and with no scientific or medical training at that!

I'm really glad you want to tell someone, because I think it's really important that you do for her safety. Even if her parents are divorcing, chances are good her father or stepfather will get some sort of unsupervised visitation if there's no record or knowledge of abuse, so her abuse may not...

Whenever there are strong fears about possible consequences of any given action, it's a good idea to ask whether everyone is ready for the act or behaviour that could lead to these consequences. Reading your question, I'm left with a lot more questions. Have you and your boyfriend ever met before...

First of all, you're completely okay and nothing you've described here means there's anything wrong with you. Nearly all people masturbate or have masturbated in their lives, and most masturbate with the kind of frequency you're describing. As well, it's very normal for little children to masturbate...

First and foremost, no matter what we call it, if masturbation (or any other activity, for that matter) feels pleasurable, that’s the most important thing. Regardless of the names we give things to put them in categories, our bodies are so unique in the way they work that these tidy little...

In a sentence: you could just take one out of your bag, hand it to your partner, and say "Here, put this on." Or, "Let's get a condom on first." Or, if you want to keep the touch between the two of you going without a condom-stop, how about, "Why don't I slide this on for you." Remember, you can put...

Have all of your straight friends had sex with a guy if they're girls, or with a girl if they're guys? If not, how do they know they're straight? See how silly that is? Hopefully they will, too. It's not sage to make orientation something anyone needs to "prove" with sex for a whole lot of reasons...

This question comes up for a lot of people. In the past couple of weeks, I think I've talked to three or four different people about this issue, so I'm really glad you've asked this here, as it's clearly important to you and to many others. It sounds like the journey you've taken to the point of...